I think it was about 70 years ago that I first started wondering about old age. As a ten year old, I had a tough time imagining what it would be like to be my age.
Would I still want to ride my bike? Would I still love ice cream? Would good food still taste the way it does now?
I can see that moment clearly. I was worried about losing what I loved as a kid. I would like to visit my younger self to let him know that the more things change, the more they stay the same. My tastes have refined over time and biking is a bit more of a challenge now. But I still like the idea of riding a bicycle and the health benefits gained from the effort. And good food is as amazing as it ever was. Even more so now.
At 80 I’m now left wondering what it would be like to have a lifetime in front of you. I never gave it a thought when I was a young boy. You just went out to play not knowing what the day would bring. It was just living in the moment. It’s what we all need to do now. Regrets don’t change the past. Anxiety has no effect on our future. So being here now and having gratitude for each day I’m alive is serving me well.
But there’s still that word. Retirement. It’s not just a word though. It describes a way of life.
I know. We’re supposed to embrace it because it’s something we’ve earned after decades of work.
Perhaps it’s because my retirement was forced that I deal with the negativity. People say, “You’re done now. It’s time for you to retire.” When you’re at a certain age they use retire instead of fire. But it has the same result. “Laid Off” is the most popular term these days but you still don’t feel valued. Not a good space to be in when you face retirement.
That’s one reason I detest the word. Another could be the experience of watching family and friends settle into that mode of life and many of them kind of just wasted away until they were no longer with us.
In the work world we were given titles. When asked what we do, we used the title. Now when they ask, we throw out that word retired. “Oh, that must be nice,” they say.
Never sure how to respond to that. So the search is on for a new title.
I’ve played with the word “independent.” But it sounds more like I belong to a political party instead of a lifestyle.
But I love the feel of that word. I am independent. I wake up each day and decide what I want to do. No commute. No assignments. No meetings. My world is what I make it. I can write what I want, Cover stories that interest me and make my own choices.
I love that independence of this new life and would never go back to the work a day world.
Besides, “retirement” is just a word. It’ll take me awhile to make the best of it and frankly, that’s what I’ve been doing all of my life.
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